#WhyIStayed

With the whole Ray Rice scandal going on, I can’t keep silent anymore. First off, as I said in the about section I have a wide range of circles; so I’ve been hearing a few different outlooks. But let’s start on the issue itself. I try hard not to get sucked into media hogwash unless I can really trust the source. However this one just blew up major. So I looked up the TMZ video. When I watched it, I figured that it could be anything. I only saw the video feed from outside of the elevator. That crap of him dragging her and whatnots.

That confused me because of the magnitude of anger I’d been seeing on the news & social media. Then I watched CNN and saw that there was more. Now if you haven’t seen this video yet and are weak of heart, this is not what you wanna see. Seriously, as bad as this sounds, I’ve been in a few abusive relationships and normally am pretty good about not having flashbacks. But this one triggered my anger, pain, hurt, and more.

Now when I first watched this I was heated. I could feel the anger boil up in me from the depths of my toes to the tips of my hair follicles. Seeing how she was actually knocked out and he still didn’t come out of it… smh. Like I said, I have been hurt more than once. I stayed way too long with one. Even became accustomed to abuse it seemed. So when I woke up to see that she had “spoke out” about the situation & what she said, gave me mixed emotions. She literally could have died by his hand and yet she still defended him. One thought is that you could see the build up as they were walking into the elevator. Then you can see her arguing and swinging first, but this big ass EX-NFL player didn’t have to hit her like that. I have many mixed emotions about this shit.

http://instagram.com/j_rice114
This is her way of speaking out…

Ya see at first she looks like the typical abused housewife. But then I think about how this incident happened a while back. Before they were even married. Maybe he already got some help or something. Maybe that is the reason why she stayed. There has got to be some reason for staying and marrying him right? Can’t be about money if you’re speaking out for him even when you know that the money is gone. Plus what she’s saying is some real shit. At want point does privacy come to play. If they didn’t arrest him then when the issue was at hand and he was dragging her ass around looking suspicious, why fuck with them now? No one gave a fuck then. The NFL didn’t even care when it wasn’t confirmed. They just brushed it off with a two day suspension. It’s just a confusion of bullshit. Bringing back a fucked up situation just to evolve it into something worse. How will they support their family and themselves now? How will they be able to look each other’s families in the eyes?

I myself chose to stay. Fuck what people will say & how they think. I believe that maybe Mr. Rice has/had potential to change because I am marrying someone who hurt me physically in the past. I, as I’m sure she did as well, knew what I was getting myself into before I got into it. Like most inner city black men, they have abandonment issues with the addition of growing up with violence all around them. You wanna do something for the couple, call them up and let them know what was seen. Then help them get into some classes. Co-dependency classes and some anger management. My fiance turned himself in so that he could take those classes. He sits in a cell thinking of the many ways that he has hurt me. He goes to his classes with an inner sense of excitement because it is important to him to never do it again. Contrary to what everyone believes, some men are just crazy. Some abusive men actually do want to change and make the effort to do so. That video may have been the last time he ever hit her and the media may have just brought back many hurtful memories. And to top it off. Now the media has even managed to strip them of everything. Which most couples fight about money and shit. So if he did work hard to never do it again. Thank you media for taking away what probably helps him keep his mind off of his stress & anger. Thanks for giving them a lot to argue about.

Love is love, and if she wanted to report it, she would have. And if she wants to be dumb enough to let him beat on her till he kills her, its her business. Putting them on blast obviously didn’t work. Besides to get ratings up I have no idea why TMZ would even put that on blast. There were so many tactful things that they could have done with the footage. Helpful things. Could have been a part of a solution instead of reignite the painful fire. Maybe I’m dumb too. I dunno. But I love my man as I know she loves him. No one is perfect but they had the means to try to fix it. Now they won’t. Good one TMZ. Way to ruin people’s lives.

One thought on “#WhyIStayed

  1. ESPN aired the video while I was watching football with my boyfriend. I totally agree, it was sooo difficult to see and enormously triggering. I hadn’t felt so overwhelmed by that kind of thing in a long time!

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