Choices & Birthday… all of it

So today I got a real good lesson on choices. Last night, I turned 26yrs old. A stressful day turned into chill night I found myself newly single and untouched. I know that I have a problem. I was proud yet second guessing and became yet the fucking dumb fantasy again. Probably gotta go to therapy or something lol (maybe seriously.. gotta look into it lol) but all time low like a high school low. I wanted the moment to be something nice and I blew it.

I don’t even know what I was thinking smh. Probably could’ve found a way to stay here with my family and made new friends and I just blew it. Well now its time to put plan 26 into action. I can’t function gracefully at home and be the role model that I should. What’s even worse is that I have to stay silent while my mother screams at my child. Its frustrating and makes me want to burn down houses.

I have high hopes that my father will find a way out soon. I hate losing my safety blanket of course but everyone needs some kinda wake up call. I’ve been having them repeatedly back to back. I guess its my time to get on and get going. I tried to stay but it definitely just isn’t possible right now.

I have more learning to do. More growing. I have to remember to stay strong so I can hold my head up high like a true woman. A crazy ass feminist in the third wave. And I just am a bad influence to all. Sorry life. Sorry people. Sorry home. Gotta get the fuck outta here and into my own. What was I thinking >_<

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